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Effect on children is biggest regret of divorced parents

Colorado parents contemplating divorce often worry about the effect the dissolution will have on their children. This is understandable, and hardly surprising. In fact a recent survey of divorced parents shows that their biggest regret about getting divorced is the impact of the split on the children.

The survey was conducted by a British law firm. Of the 867 people surveyed, about one-third said their biggest regret was the effect on the children. The parents also responded to questions about how their children fared after the divorce. About 32 percent said their children were affected emotionally. About 22 percent said that academic performance was impacted.

Interestingly, about a quarter of the people surveyed said the divorce had no effect on their children, and about 8 percent actually said the children did better after the divorce.

Unfortunately, for most couples experiencing the end of a marriage, staying together for the sake of the kids is just not a realistic option. But there are things parents can do to minimize the negative effects of the dissolution.

Custody disputes are one of the leading sources of stress for children of divorce. A child's feelings of trust and safety can be damaged by drawn-out, acrimonious battles over child custody. Colorado family court judges consider the best interests of the child in deciding custody and visitation rights. Parents could do an enormous service to their children if they would focus on this standard themselves, rather than on their own interests, when negotiating custody and visitation issues. In most cases parenting time with the noncustodial parent is in the child's best interest; couples should work together to ensure the child has a meaningful relationship with both parents.

Source: Huffington Post, "Survey Reveals What Divorced Couples Regret Most," Dec. 17, 2013

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